First advice: spend time together and communicate
Nothing brings a family closer together like spending time together, walking in the park, playing board games, going out of town, watching movies and holiday dinners.Try to pay more attention to children even if they seem to be adults. It is also important for teenagers to have emotional contact with their families and it is important to find the right approach.
If you’re worried about a kid sitting around with a lot of gadgets, it’s useless just to stop him from doing it. Give the child an alternative: turn off the tablet and come into the pool, put the phone away and go to bake a pie. If you approach a child more often it will strengthen his confidence in his worth.
Second advice: don’t control the child
When we were kids, we didn’t like our parents spying, reading our diaries or texting our friends, even though they did it for the best of reasons. Establish a strong and honest relationship if you want to encourage children to share their secrets, seek advice and support from their parents. Try to give the child some space and explain any restriction you have as an adult intelligent person.
Strict parental restraints will only exacerbate the conflict if you have a teenager in the family. Tell him how else he can get what he wants and what conditions can be used. Such measures will help you to rethink and revise too strict family rules.
Child psychologists use a simple technique to find common ground with small visitors. They share a secret from their childhood and take a promise that they will keep their secrets. This is also the way you can do it with your younger or adult children to get in touch with each other in an honest and sincere way.
Third advice: don’t compare a child to other children
Parents mistakenly believe that comparing a child with his peers encourages him to be more diligent, especially if this is made in public. In the view of adults, everything should be equally good for children. But such elements in the upbringing process will make children feel that they are not good enough or that they will look for abuse in that even at a conscious age by comparing their qualities with those of others.
A smooth relationship gives the child a sense of self-confidence and creates a climate of trust between the child and the parent. It is only possible to build this relationship when parental love is unconditional and does not depend on good behaviour, school grades or fulfilled requests.
A parent friend is always on the side of the child, he knows his character and inclinations, calmly perceives childhood failures and teaches younger children about them.
Fourth advice: be responsible for your words and your actions
A real friend doesn’t cheat and tries to keep promises. If you’re teaching a child to be clean and polite, you have to meet the demands. If you clean up together then finish up right away. If you are committed to a birthday game then keep your word. If you promise not to shout, don't raise your voice.
Listen to and respect the views of your children. Put yourself in their shoes and remember what you didn’t like about parenting.
Strong friendship between the parent and the child, above all, gives the child solid support. He will know that no matter what happens, there are relatives who will support and advise.
Authors and their books will also help to make a good friend and parent for the child:
- Ross W.Green. Raising Human Beings: Creating a Collaborative Partnership with Your Child
- Marina Solotova. How to become a friend for your child and stay as a parent
- Joe Rubino.31 Ways to Champion Children to Develop High Self-Esteem
- Susan Stiffelman. Parenting Without Power Struggles: Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm and Connected
- Julia Gippenreiter. How to Communicate with the Child
- Stephen R.Covey. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People