Tip 1: Listen to the child and look at yourself from the outside
The first steps in uncertainty start with the parent. The way you treat children and teach them to treat themselves directly affects their level of confidence.
Respond to the child’s actions and events in his life with joy, compassion, sadness. Try to understand and believe in the little person. An unfriendly interest in the life of a son or daughter is as important as any praise. This makes them feel loved and needed.
Pre-school childhood (age 3-7) is an active personality formation period. A child compares himself to other children and wonders how others see him. This can lead to low self-esteem. A kid like that needs practice without your help to prove his competence. Encourage him to be with younger kids. It’ll give him confidence.
If something doesn’t work the first time, don’t scold the child. Tell him how it can be fixed. Deal with the kids' mistakes. They shouldn’t be afraid of mistakes. Authoritarian parenting isn’t going to help his self-esteem.
Another parental extreme known to be an overprotective one. Do not warn the child from receiving his «big shots». Do not make mistakes for him what he can do on his own.
«The best ways to raise the impregnated and infantile person are not to give the right to error, control every step and strive for the child to realize your unrealized dreams” the psychologist Julia Hippenreuter says.«Don’t run so fast or you’ll fall down», «Let me collect it myself or you’ll be doing it forever», «I told you not to go there. You can get dirty». Are these phrases familiar to you? The acute and sensitive reaction of adults to ordinary, even unpleasant situations is also transmitted to the child. You’re an irrefutable authority for children. If you’re afraid of something, then the child catches up with that condition, loses initiative and confidence.
Tip 2: Find reasons for uncertainty and ways to defeat it
Discuss the child’s weaknesses and help him deal with them together. Perhaps you should give up or reduce the importance of areas in which the child is unsuccessful. He may not be a good mathematician or a good physicist, but he can be good at music, science and drawing, for example. It’s good to have an area where he can prove himself at a high level.
Unfortunately, no expensive clothing or the latest gadgets can boost self-esteem. But reminders of success in different disciplines like certificates, academic competitions, medals for contests can be used.
If they’re valued by a child, why don’t you give the awards a room? You can have a «Diary of success» for recording any achievements. For example he wrote the best test, helped grandma in household affairs every week, planted and raised his plant. This will show that almost a child has something to be proud of every day . Of course, it will give him confidence. It is not too much to create a «collection of thanks» for small notes with family praise.
In order to cope with children’s shyness in front of strangers, show the child a model of communication. You can go to the store with him and specifically consult with the salesman. If a child is afraid to talk on the phone,then call him more often to show or prescribe patterns of communication and behaviour. This technique is often used by managers who work with clients.When you are a teenager, self-confidence is often associated with a certain aspect of appearance, such as being perceived by young girls. When a teenager doesn’t like something in himself, he becomes obsessed with it and afraid to be ridiculed. Help an adult child to see all the good qualities in himself, make sure that one of his shortcomings is not so significant.
Share tests that reveal strong personality traits, find out what their personal values and priorities are with teenagers. Is that a specific flaw that matters in his lifetime? Tell him what complexes everybody has, but you have to learn to get rid of them by judging yourself.
Tip 3: Allow your child have a passion that makes him feel like a winner
If the child is insecure, he needs support and positive reinforcement. The real foundation of confidence comes when a person completes the task and experiences real success.
School performance has a profound effect on self-esteem. If a child fails in class, help him prove himself where he can be a winner. Find an interesting hobby, such as video game creation, animation or video blogging, form a goal and see it through. You don’t have to chase an ideal, you just have to do it. The more important things that are done, the more satisfied the child will be.
Ask about his dreams and desires. It is in fantasies that babies and adult children are closest to their inner «I». Try to make a table of his abilities with a child and write what he can do, what he can’t, what he does best and what only he can do.
Teach a child to set goals! It is clear what it expects from tomorrow when this method is used and a day regime with clear objectives will help it achieve these goals. Start with100 goals per year to 5-7 per day. These are small steps to the formation of an independent and free personality», psychologist Larisa Surkova writes.If a child knows his or her talents and successes, he or she can always rely on his or her strengths or ask for help in the weak. A confident child understands his or her abilities, possibilities and limitations and parents understand his or her successes and failures. «I believe in you» - that’s what Mom and Dad say to kids who grow up confident.